Crissy, they say you're bald even with hair, which explains why your stylist always looks like they're trying to re-inflate a flat tire. I heard your comb has a 'search and rescue' team dedicated to finding the four stray strands that show up every Tuesday. It's like your hair is a witness protection program for follicles that just couldn't make it in the big city. The good news is, you're always ready for a spontaneous swim, no need to worry about your hair getting wet. The bad news? You're also always ready for a spontaneous swim because your hair already looks like it's been in the ocean for a week. I'm pretty sure your shampoo bottle has a warning label that says, 'May cause the illusion of hair.'
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