Dating is like trying to assemble IKEA furniture without the instructions. You end up with a bunch of extra parts and...
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I went on a date with a librarian. She told me to shush. I think she misunderstood the concept of romance. π€«π
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My love life is like a math problem: It's got a lot of variables, and I'm usually the only one trying to solve it. β...
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I'm not single, I'm just in a long-term relationship with my couch and Netflix. It's complicated. ποΈπΊ
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My dating profile says I love long walks on the beach. I meant at the grocery store, looking for the deals. ππΆ
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Dating is like a scavenger hunt, except the treasure is usually just someone else's trust issues. πΊοΈπ
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I'm not saying I'm a bad cook, but my smoke alarm is my most loyal companion. π₯π
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My dating profile says I'm a great listener. That's because I spend most of my dates trying to figure out what I said...
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I told my date I was a baker. They asked what I specialized in. I said, 'getting baked.' πͺπ¨
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My dating life is like a broken pencil... pointless. βοΈπ
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