You're like that one pop song that's universally annoying, but instead of just playing on the radio, you've somehow found a way to manifest in real life. Every time you walk into a room, I swear the Wi-Fi signal drops and all the plants start silently begging for mercy. Your presence has the unique ability to turn a perfectly good day into a quest for the nearest quiet escape hatch. I'm pretty sure your aura comes with a 'handle with extreme caution' sticker, and it's mostly due to the sudden onset of mass eye-rolling and spontaneous sighs. Honestly, you've got more plot twists than a daytime soap opera, and about as much genuine warmth as a freezer burnt microwave meal. You don't just bring the drama; you are the drama's entire directorial debut, premiere, and extended director's cut. It's truly a gift, though I'm still trying to figure out if it's one anyone asked for.
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